I disagree with everything you just said.

Jul 23

Dork.: — Lane Becker 415.867.1708

i appear to have accidentally developed a side career as a motivational speaker for fortune 100 marketing teams. did not see that coming.

apparently raytheon has invented a “pain ray” for the military than instantly heats human skin to 130 degrees. http://is.gd/10Ug

can’t believe the pain ray took precedence over both the flying car AND the personal jet pack. what kind of future is this?

Jul 22

Turn right. Or, you know, whatever.: — Lane Becker 415.867.1708

Jul 20

Good Cow.: — Lane Becker 415.867.1708

in any other context, having over 2000 followers would make me the next reverend sun myung moon.

Distressed to learn the hourglass on our bookshelf only lasts 43 minutes. Wondering what other objects I should fact check.

Jul 19

Jim visits.: — Lane Becker 415.867.1708

Please click to enter Discount Handcuff Warehouse: http://www.discounthandcuffs.com/

Derek loves Rena.: — Lane Becker 415.867.1708

neal pollack is crashed out on our couch.

happily confusing the finger pointing at the moon with the moon.

Jul 18

hero to spheres and circles everywhere, professor of mathematics clarence abiathar waldo of purdue saved the day. http://is.gd/X5c

in 1897, indiana attempted to redefine pi to 3.2 by legislative fiat, previous values being “wholly wanting & misleading.” http://is.gd/X4L